A high-achiever’s hack to slowing down

Maria Conigliaro | Coach + Speaker

A high-achiever’s hack to slowing down

17:12

 

 🎙 Listen to the audio! 👆🏼
[NOT-PRO TIP: DON'T GO LIVE WHEN YOU'RE SIMULTANEOUSLY UPLOADING A VIDEO TO DROPBOX. THE VIDEO QUALITY WILL BE POOR.]

“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together.”

—ELIZABETH TAYLOR

I’ve spent a lot of time with motivated high-achievers the last 20 years. 

As a professional, an entrepreneur, and as a person. A lot of our clients at Inspired are high-achievers, many of my friends are multi-tasking super-moms, and I can’t forget the generations of family members that have influenced productivity and work ethic into every cell of my body.

But I’ve not been well these past couple of weeks and all I keep thinking about is how to handle work + life (that already feels full) when you’re ill and don’t physically feel up to any of the tasks.

As a high achiever, I’m:

• great under pressure
• handle a to-do list like a pro
• always looking for solutions
• a short-cut queen (not in a lazy way, in an always-looking-for-efficiency way)

I’m guessing you’re a lot like me! And boy! Can we chug caffeine, run on a few hours of sleep, and do our make-up in 3 minutes flat!

In an ideal world, when our bodies are capable, we are machines!

And we LOVE the hustle! We LIVE for results! We THRIVE in the speed of it all.

But when our bodies are sick and unwell—the machine is broken—and we can’t perform... We. Freak. OUT.

Why?

Because our identity is wrapped up in the doing, the going, the productivity. And when we’re NOT doing, NOT going, NOT productive… we’re NOT… what? 

How does your brain play tricks on you? Does it say you’re not successful, valued, smart if you’re not operating at super-human speed? 

As if feeling crappy physically isn’t bad enough, we also beat ourselves up mentally.

I GET IT. I’ve not been well, which means I’ve had to slow WAY down. But this time I didn’t freak out. Not even a little.

• I rested.
• I slept in.
• I didn’t do laundry.
• I ordered food.
• I didn’t log 8 billable hours a day.
• And most importantly, I didn’t beat myself up.

And guess what? Everything’s fine. My family is fine. My business(es) are fine. My team is fine. My house is fine. And I’m fine.

The doing, and going, and productivity is definitely part of the equation! But we need the other half to balance it out: the being, the resting, and the reflecting. Otherwise we end up in burnout, overwhelm, and living a life that doesn’t light us up anymore—we end up being FORCED to slow down. Our bodies let us know.

When clients reach out for coaching, they’re often in that place. 

They know they can’t keep going at the pace they’ve been going. They know what they DON’T want, and they don’t know how to make it stop. 

• They don’t want to be stressed, miserable, unhappy, worried, and overwhelmed. 
• They don’t want to think about their business when they’re home with their family. 
• They don’t want to feel guilty when they take a day off. 
• They don’t want things to keep going the way they’re going.

Hustle culture perpetuates this, you know. It’s not just “how we’re wired,” it really is a reflection of the norm society has created around us. There’s a time and a place to hustle… but it’s not ALL the time in ALL the places.

Do you want to slow down without feeling guilty? Without your brain freaking out? BEFORE you’re forced to?

Here are my top tips for slowing down [whether you WANT to or HAVE to]:

#1: GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT

In your health, relationships, personal life, and business. Just four simple areas. Pick the top few things that are the MOST important to you and what the minimum requirement is. Here are some examples for me: I know my physically health is almost directly related to how much sleep I get, so I prioritize sleep over food and exercise; I know that quality time with my kids is more impactful than quantity of time, so I prioritize time each day to make them feel seen, heard, loved, and special; Alone time recharges me, personally, so even if it’s 15 minutes I give myself that time to recharge in whatever way I need to (journalling, reading, meditating, etc.); and in both of my businesses I have a few key tasks that are imperative to keeping the ball rolling. For you, each of these will be different. 

#2: PAY ATTENTION TO FEARS

It might feel like anxiety or anger. You might say to yourself “I’m an idiot.” You might find yourself complaining to a friend, coworker or spouse. It shows up in different ways, but fear is usually the thing stealing your peace of mind. PAY ATTENTION, and then get curious. Ask yourself, what am I really afraid of? Be honest with yourself, and please don’t judge it. Because the second you say it out loud (or journal it if you prefer) it loses its power. Those fears pick up speed and multiply when they stay swirling around in your subconscious mind.

#3: MAKE A DECISION

The word “decide” means “to cut.” Cut off all possibilities of Plan B. Make a decision. Decide what you DO want, not what you don’t. Get super clear on what slowing down looks like, feels like, smells like, sounds like and tastes like. I’m serious. When you can make a list, you know what to shoot for! [As a high-achiever, I know you’ll knock it out of the park.] 

#4: BELIEVE IT'S OKAY

Sounds simple, but it takes a minute. Remember everything is going to be fine. And truly believe it will be. It’ll help to remember times in the past when you were worried something would go wrong and it didn’t. Remember times when you slowed down and it was the best day ever. And if you really can’t think of something in your life, think about someone you know who peacefully enjoys the fruits of their labor. Because that means it’s 100% available for you, too.

Work hard. Play hard. Rest hard.

I know you want to. And I know you’ll feel better when you have to.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey, even as a solo-preneur. I, for one, am the kind of person who loves to guide others along their journey toward defining and designing their own versions of success. Yes, I followed my inner guidance to create mine. And yes, I continue to hire my own coaches to help me get there faster… while taking it slower.

Let's customize a plan to help you gain clarity on what you DO want and how to make it happen. Get on my calendar, dear.