Control ≠ Beauty

Warning: This is not another cliche post about sunflowers facing the sun.

This story is a little different. A couple weeks ago I was weeding the mulch bed in the front of our house and I forgot to do the side of the porch (I was probably summoned by a toddler wanting to show me some worms).

About a week went by and I noticed some embarrassingly large weeds had grown up next to the snowball bush. As soon as I noticed them I ran to get my gardening gloves. As I got closer and pulled the clearly identifiable weeds, I noticed one that looked like it was about to bloom.

So I said to myself “any flower is a beautiful flower, I’m going to wait and see what this one looks like!” I let it be.

And just this weekend my daughter said to me with the most excitement, “MOM!! Look!! A sunflower!! Did you put that there?”

In complete wonder I stood and stared at the surprise gift that had showed up almost literally at my doorstep all because I chose to think a thought and let go of control.

Getting control—or taking control—is socially accepted and often encouraged. So much that when we don’t have control of something our anxiety wells up and is the most devastating thief of joy in every area of our lives.

Trying to control our circumstances and our environment is a losing game—despite how hard we try, we truly are not in control of any outcome. Anything can happen at any time.

What if you tried to control what you THINK about the outcome, instead? Thoughts pop into your brain subconsciously, constantly, all day every day. 90% of the thoughts you think today are repeated from the day before… FOR DECADES!

💭I’m stupid.

💭I’m not enough.

💭I don’t deserve it.

💭No one really loves me.

💭I hate my thighs.

💭My hair is frizzy.

Those thoughts are not beautiful sunflowers. They are nasty weeds that procreate faster than you can pull them.

So instead of trying to control the outside world, spend your energy keeping an eye out for the unwanted thorns in your inner world.

Don’t try to control them, either. Just watch with curiosity, for JUST ONE DAY, and see what comes up for you. Don’t judge them, don’t stop them, just write them down.

And if they’re what you want to repeat tomorrow, by all means stay the course. But if, after you look at them, they do not support the version of you that you want to be it’s time to run for your gardening gloves.

“As Within, So Without”