Is self-sabotage actually a gift?

 🎥 Watch the Replay 🎥

What is self-sabotage? 

Behaviors and patterns that prevent you from doing what you want to do.

Everyone does it. It’s not our fault! Our brains are wired to keep us safe and our environments familiar, and it will pull out ALL THE STOPS to make sure that happens. 

Have you ever said to yourself… “Why do I keep doing this?” “How does this keep happening to me?” “I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I can’t help it!” You desperately want to achieve something, but you never seem to be able to accomplish it.

Self-sabotage is such a b*tch, right? Well, what if it was a gift? 

Let’s unwrap this for a few minutes. We’ll start by looking at the science behind it.

Since childhood our brains have been taking in data, always surveying the environment to make sure we stay alive. Anything it saw repeatedly, it would create shortcuts and automations to conserve energy… so it could keep taking in more data as time went on. We have decades of data consumption automated into our brains… automations it did on its own based on what it saw.

Science shows us that we think between 15,000-60,000 thoughts per day, and that 90% of those thoughts are happening under the surface, in our subconscious mind.

Self-sabotage is those automations being triggered by similar situations that created the automations in the first place… because your brain wants to keep you safe. It wants to keep the environment the same it’s always been to conserve energy. Change is scary!!

[SIDENOTE:] It wants to conserve energy in case of extreme danger… so you have the energy to outrun a sabertooth tiger!

Here’s an example of how I self-sabotaged in my marketing business: 

About 3 years into my business the workload started to level off and I wanted more business. I knew I would need to put myself “out there.” Yet I never marketed the business consistently or made a plan to do so. Even though, ironically, that was the business I was in… helping others put themselves out there in a strong, branded, consistent way!

If you had asked me why I didn’t market Inspired, I would have said that I didn’t need to. That I had enough business. Or, that I loved helping other people market their businesses so much that I simply didn’t have time to market my own.

But that chatter that was REALLY going on in my head were things like being afraid of what others might think, that I wasn’t good enough yet, that I wouldn’t be able to handle the work that might come in. My brain consciously justified those deeper subconscious fears which held me back from taking action that would create the results I really wanted.

(Clearly, here I am, so I’ve overcome that. 😉 Keep reading for 6 steps to overcome YOUR self-sabotaging limiting beliefs.)

Here are 11 behaviors that might be keeping you frustrated, small, and stuck as an entrepreneur. 

I’ve run into a lot of these in the last ten years, self-sabotaging behaviors that slowed me down, pushed goalposts further out, and kept me from leaning into my power.

• Perfectionism [“It needs to be prettier, cleaner, better, smarter, etc.”]
• Procrastination [“I’ll do it after I check my email.”]
• Unhealthy lifestyle choices [“Today was hard, I need a drink.”]
• Overspending [“I’ll feel more confident carrying that Gucci.”]
• Not delegating [“No one else knows how to do it.”]
• Fear of what others think [“They’ll think I’m an idiot.”]
• Comparisonitis [“Why do they have it so easy?”]
• Lack of clarity/brain fog [“I don’t know how to make more money.”]
• Overwhelm [I don’t have time.”]
• Overcomplicating things [“But first I need a landing page.”)
• Lack of taking responsibility for current circumstances [“This shit always happens to me.”]

Self-sabotaging behaviors CAN be overcome. Here are a 6 steps to help you get there.

1. Recognize them. Awareness is the starting point of any personal development. (And whether you like it or not, entrepreneurship is a CRASH COURSE in personal development so you might as well roll with it.) Pay attention to the desires that aren’t being met, the things you’re doing and/or not doing that are contributing to that, and the thoughts you’re having in those moments.
2. Write them down. Pen to paper. By using your muscle memory, writing helps take that thought out of your subconscious mind and into your conscious mind. Keep a little journal in your pocket or purse at all times.
3. Reflect. Love yourself and believe in your desires enough  to carve out a little time to reflect on what’s going on. What’s triggering this? What are the stories you’re saying to yourself about it? Where did those stories originate? Are those stories still true now?
4. Rewrite the story. Pen to paper again, write a new narrative about who you are and how you show up.
5. Read it daily. Speak it out loud. In a mirror if you want to. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Even if it’s just your world. THIS IS POWERFULLLL. Do not skip this step.
6. Take action. Build new muscle memories while holding your dreams and your new narrative in your mind. 

Self-sabotage is a gift!! The gift that was now hidden beneath pretty paper is now open and exposed… and it’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with it.